THE RAT DIARIES

In a recent episode of Fear Factor 2 on AXN, I watched two women as part of a challenge, allow rats to crawl over their heads and face head on, with immense bravery and fortitude the possibility of being bitten and scratched and worse, infested. Though it was revolting just to watch them, I’m all appreciation for their incredible guts. I on the other hand, am like the majority of women who wouldn’t go anywhere near rats, let alone touch them. Seeing one of them is enough to make me freak out.

The critically acclaimed animated film “Ratatouille” won an Oscar and several other awards. However, I wonder what inspired directors Brad Bird and Jan Pinkaya to make a movie revolving around rats. The movie was great but I remember wishing the rats could be replaced by some other animal species. If I were a movie director, I would have liked to make a movie with a cute, furry Pomeranian because I’m a big lover of all things canine….but rats…..hmm…not really to my taste. Anyway, thanks to their award-winning movie, I now know about a dish called Ratatouille. But that’s beside the point.

Last night, my dad laid a trap for a scheming annoying rat using a tempting piece of coconut meat. In principle, it was a brilliant idea, simple and foolproof. However, the species of rat seems to have evolved over the ages into a cunning race. The next day, the coconut meat was gone…., and so was the rat!

About three years back, we had a situation where we’d opened the fridge one morning and found the tomatoes half-eaten. Post the tomato feasting incident, we were never able to catch the slippery plunderer red-handed, despite several regular appearances of half eaten food. In fact, we were never even able to catch sight of it. One fine day, I opened the fridge and saw the rat’s spherical eyes looming at me from a dark brooding corner, and then as quick as a flash, it disappeared. Where to? I didn’t know then. It was as if the rat had made its way through a secret door or become transparent like H.G. Wells’ “Invisible Man.” If my memory serves me right, we had actually called in the fridge mechanic to play CBI investigator for us and find out how the rat entered and through where it exited. Our aged investigator discovered that the rat was cozying itself in fetal position in a warm area of the fridge’s system. His point of entry and exit was a small space between fridge and fridge door.

In the course of my years of inhabitance in India, I am happy to have discovered funnily enough that just as every man is unique, so is every rat. On two occasions, I had rat visitors swinging into my home through my cable TV wire connection. These were the Tarzan variety of the rat species, I presumed. Interestingly, though they swang themselves inside almost effortlessly, getting themselves out using the same prop was a major struggle. And how can I forget the rat who liked to feed on our bath soap of all things?

It’s past 10 pm now and very soon I will be hearing that repetitive knock knock sound. It means my latest unwanted visitor has arrived once again on its nightly visit. This time dad and I have laid a sure trap for the intruder.